pill

im lying on my bed. thinking if i need to get up and get ready. my work starts in a few more minutes and im not ready yet. sucks.

a lot has happened to me lately. it might be the reason why i havent posted any entry here.

broke up with my bf for nearly 2 yrs. he was the love i cant give up. he was the one who i always think of. but things should be given up so that everyone can be happy. sacrifice. its what i did. and he's happy. i think.

im dating now. thats my most recent status. im going out with a japanese guy. he's cute. he says he likes me. i just wanna test the waters first.

then im going out with a filipino guy. i dont really know but i like him, only thing is, he's too complicated. he's older than i am but he's a bit more immature. plus he's pushy. he likes to ask me if i like him or not. isnt it better if u just let the person tell u that they like u than ask them how they feel? i get irritated by that.

my car got wrecked. i was gonna pick up my mom when my car hit something. i wasnt drunk or anything. just bad luck i guess.

i'll try to explain everything later. and plus the title. brb.

Kiss -1

work. work. work. the only thing that made me busy all this time. my friends keep telling me to write the sequel for "the promise". too much on my mind right now... here goes:

After the "hot" thing with my cousin, every year, i looked forward for summer. every single summer. but things stopped. why? because of another cousin.

He is a cousin that i dont know how distant. all i know is, he is from my father side. he's cute. he smells great. and as i discover later on, he has a BIG ONE. he is a brother to my other older cousin which i have a super crush on. and i know, he has a big dick too. im sure of that. ;)

well, i always go to my cousins place to play. i cant help it. their place is literally paces away from ours. i was playing with my cousins when i noticed THIS cousin went upstairs. i was intrigued. puzzled. what the hell will he do upstairs in the middle of the day? so, when all my other cousins were playing i sneaked up to peek at whats happening. i saw him. sleeping. he is just another sight i cant keep my eyes off. i was kind of mesmerized on what i was staring at. his face. his body. then my attention went to where you all are rooting for. his dick. inside my head i was thinking, "does he have a big dick as his brother?". the more than famous devil and angel were fighting inside my head too. touch it or leave it. i really didnt know what happened, but i found myself walking. not walking away, but walking. towards where the embodiment of my lust is. walking for my life....

to be continued...

FATSO!

OMG! i cant believe this. all the while i havent noticed that i gained so much weight. not until i received my driver's license. suckz. i feel devastated. i feel the urge to eat. im lonely. MOMMY!!!

LA pride

LA Pride Parade

My first LA pride. so memorable. i marched with new friends down santa monica from cresent heights to robertson blvd in festive west hollywood.

i was late going to the place where we are supposed to meet. i needed to drop my mom off to her work before i do my gay stuff. but it didnt stop me from having all the fun i can have.

from sun way up high to sun down. i was there. experiencing the scene. savoring the moment. they said it was one of the most successful Pride in LA.

My first LA pride. so memorable.

WORK

work is both a curse and a blessing.

the curse:

i work 6 days a week. 5 days 7-3 then a day for 3-11. i bust my ass working. i do things i shouldn't do. but still, my paycheck doesnt go through my direct deposit. instead of going to sanfo with my friends to celebrate pride, i drove to santa fe springs to pick up my pay check. suckz.

the blessing:

its work. definitely compensation.

PRIDE!!!

LA pride is around the corner! OMG!

we started it by a simple get together party held at one of BARANGAY's member. they hosted the green and red party last xmas too. as usual, i want to get D R U N K! so, as early as 12nn yesterday, i called up my friend and asked him if he can pick me up for the party. he said yes. yehey! that means, drink all you can again

~~~~~~~~~~nizz~~~~~~~~~~

PARTY TIME!!!!

we went. we saw. i was wasted!

the party went well. a new logo for the organization. and i've decided to join the parade with them. that would be a delight! my friend, Ben was doing his version of the 1994 Ms Universe pageant held in the philippines. he was the best! every criticism was well awarded by laughs of those listening. he also did the production number the candidates danced on the opening of the said competition. we were all laughing out gases out! hehehe... then he did the walk. he confirmed it. hehehe.

they told us to mix our drinks. i did mine. hehe. i mixed 7 different drinks. with a touch of jaggermeister. it tasted like cough syrup. but hell strong. i didn't even have the chance to finish it and i was buzzed already. i needed to stop.

after the party we went to gameboi (rage). the last drink i had was adiosmuddafucker! it was the best! again, i wasn't able to finish my drink. im gonna get one of those again one time. hehe.

~~~~~~~~~nizz~~~~~~~~~~

then my mom woke me up after 3 hours of sleep. good thing i didn't have any hang over.

she asked me to dig a hole in the backyard. our dog, princess, died. she was adorable. i rushed to kmart to buy a shovel. my first time to use it correctly.

and now, im bored. bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

the promise - 3

work and things got in my way again. i hate it. i hate the fact that i can't even finish this story. its freakin' incest and i can't finish it! how lame of me. how stupid.

as continued....

i was in ecstasy. i was trapped. what if we fight? will he bring this up and tell every one i sucked him? would i ever defend myself if ever this happens? who would believe me?

i was elated. it felt like forever. but everything shattered. i felt betrayed. i felt as though he is cornering me so that he can always have someone by his side to defend him to the family if he has done something wrong. i went crazy. i stopped sucking. i stopped and stared. i stopped spinning. i felt sick. what was i doing? what was i thinking letting him be my predator? then something happened. he moaned. it wasn't the first time i heard someone moan. but this time it was different. I've always thought that sexually, moans=pleasure. i realized i was giving him something that felt good. maybe i was wrong. just paranoid little me. and i started to move my lips again. his cock is harder than what it was. not wood. more like steel. i was kinda afraid that it might break my teeth. hehe. i work hard. up and down i went. my hands still shaky. not of excitement i think. but of the immense pleasure his moans are giving me. my dick was hard as rock too. but i don't care. i was so engulfed (literally) on the pleasure it was giving me, simply because i was giving him pleasure.

and then my grandma came home. it was it. he didn't cum. i wish he did. i've read it all over the tabloids already. that after sometime of playing with someone's dick, cum comes out. that would've completed my experience.

after that i looked forward to every summer that we have. me sucking his dick once more. but he never really came when he had our "thing". sad. but my first cum experience was with another cousin. hehe. and that's my second story. watch out!

temporary

April of last year, 2006, I applied for a permit to drive. May of this year (as in today *GIGGLES*), I HAVE MY TEMPORARY DRIVER'S LICENSE already!

I can't believe it! I've been driving for a couple of months already without even a licensed driver with me. A couple of freeways and tons of side streets. And wahlah! PASSED! hehehe... Melanie was so nice. I won't forget her...( probably I will)

kiss rate: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious french kiss;)

BLONDE-ISH! Just can't help it!

its been a day already since the big coronation night of the superbowl for gays and gals. but i still can't help but think how Venezuela bested Korea and USA. I don't want to sound rude and all that but her answer was so blonde-ish. She answered when asked for a question. But did she answer the question? NAH! I mean, she's pretty and all that, but she didn't answer her friggin' question! (you see where the blonde-ish is??) OMG! i can't blame her, after all she's the World's Top Model (according to my friends and global beauties)

MISS UNIVERSE 2007 - RIYO MORI

Yes, its an Asian! OMG! that was my statement when the top 15 were announced 9pm here in LA. the Asians that got in the top 15 really have a really good chance of bagging the crown.

My bet was Japan. she's really cute. but then stunning miss korea hit me. shes stunning! beautiful. but thanks to some technical error she was 3rd runner up to Ms. Japan who won the most coveted title a lady could ever boast for for all her life if she wins it.

Miss Japan presented herself. Confident. Her spin on the swimsuit round captured me. from then on i switched from Korea to Japan. I remember last year when Miss Puerto Rico defeated Miss Japan. I was devastated. I thought it was already bagged for Miss Japan last year. but then, winning this years miss universe isn't too late either for japan.

way to go RIYO MORI! Way to go ASIA!

the promise -2

this next installment has long been over due. sorry. i was busy. work. friends. sorry.



i was on the verge of pursuing this story but as the moment drew in closer, it made me sleepy. less sleep + more time with friends= a healthy social life....



here goes me again...



he started by asking me to give him a massage. most of those who have had the chance to experience my magic touch commented how well my hands work. going back, i gave him my all. my best. then he started to moan a little. somehow, i felt excited. weird. eerie. then, curious. he turned. his bulge was the only thing thats capturing my attention. it was bigger than what i have. he's 13 and im 10 for gaffts sake. i began to check him out. i was staring at his dick still entraped indside his shorts encased inside his briefs. even so, it was prominent. he grabbed my hand and the guided it to where he wants it to be. in my thoughts, i was guessing he planned this. i dont know why. i dont care anymore. the simple caress my hand gives his encapsulated dick became more aggressive. i was more curious than i thought i will be. i think im going crazy. my heart is pounding. fast. no, very fast. what if my cousins come in? what if the knock. we need to open the door.



he pulled his pant down. we wanted me to feel his his dick through his undies. in which, i did. i liked the feeling. correction: I LOVED THE FEELING! it was my first sexual experience. it wasnt a fantasy to me. but it was the best feeling i've ever felt. innocence left me. i was in limbo. i thought i wasnt moving. but i was. i began to sniff his dick still in his underwear. it smelled good. the musk smell made me come out of my shell. then i did something daring for me at that time. i slid my hands inside his underwear and grabbed his throbbing dick. his moans i cannot hear anymore. his movements i cannot fathom. myself, felt like another person. i was amazed on how things were going. then, he asked me to do something......

continued again... hehhe...

the Promise - 1

i was chatting with some friends yesterday and i promised to put a blog on my sexual exploits.

i was young when my parents bought a house in novaliches. i hated that place. water has time. sooo far from our place at quezon city. and most of all i dont have any friends there. years has passed. my dad died. my mom went here to the states to support us. the novaliches house was just there. sitting. empty. then, i remember my grandparents moving from our province to our novaliches house. and then there was two.

my grandpa and my grandma were the only one who lives at our novaliches house. so its only fit that we visit them and spend the night every weekend. and then, the trips to our province for the summer vacation was shifted to going to novaliches. my cousins and i would play around. do what ever we want. its summer. its our vacation. our fun.

i was 10 at that time. my eldest cousin playing with us was 13 i think at that time. as the eldest he had control of our play. imagine this. we are at an airplane. he was the pilot. some of my cousins were the passengers. and another cousin and i were the attendants. we have the whole house to ourselves. so, one room was for the cockpit and the other room was simply for the passengers. somehow my eldest cousin, would always call me to the "cockpit". i didn't know that time that it was the "cock" pit. hehehe.

"paging my attendant to the cockpit please", he goes. i was on my feet and went to the other room. when i got there, he locked the door. he asked my other cousin not to bother. i was sweet. i was young. i was innocent. i became ready of whatever he would want me to do. i have no idea what's going to happen. i felt butterfly in my stomach.

to be continued....

NEXT

in my childhood, i have dreamt of so many things. Special abilities that only in my dreams i can have. But it never occur to me to dream of such ability as what Chris in this movie has. as amazing as his ability is, whats more amazing is the connection that there is between Chris and Liz. He had this ability to foresee whats going to happen to only him and that he can only predict whats going to happen in the span of before 2 mins. it was amazing how things changed with love. i dont know if this movie is a romantic movie or a suspense movie.

its a movie that i would put beside the illusionist. very smart. very intelligent. makes your mind work, makes your heart beat.

thoughts for today 5-6-07

i was caught in awe of the things that i can do with my life. and with that i crumble down. it left me in awe. but not in motion.

when i was a kid i realized that i need to compete. my eldest brother graduated valedictorian in elementary (same school i was in), and my other brother was just a wreck. i have no choice but to choose the later than the latter. i don't want my life to end up in a ditch as what i have perceived my other brother's life would be. so i MUST compete. i tried my best. i was on the top section from grades one til 6. then high school was another one when i challenged myself. i went on from top section to top of the section. then i was transferred to another school. if permitted, i can say that i struggled when i was transferred. culture shock. i was taught of things i already knew. things that i can say is like but basic knowledge. so i strove, my best was at the line. i graduated with honors. college was another thing. my eldest brother was again on the premier school of the country. now how can i beat that? so nothing happened. i was placed on the dean's list of my first school just after i transferred to another school. how sad. with the transfer i felt nothing. no competition. no nothing. i became stagnant. i became who i am now. lost.

the world is huge. my world is a tiny spot in my mind. but my spot in the real world is yet to be determined. i need to find my soul. i need to find my strength once more. i need to find.... me.

slow...so slow...

yesterday was supposed to be a blast. my boss was on a conference again for the whole day. meaning i'm responsible for the whole facility again. but as all fridays go - slow, very slow, super slow. i can't even imagine i was working double. i was so tired before it was 6. my friends keep on asking me if i was going out, but i can't. 1st, i dont have my license yet. second, its freaking 11 o'clock when i get off from work?! what will i do in weho by 12am when in about 2 hours all the bars will be closing. i hate my life sometimes. i really do. as soon as i was home i slept. i guess i snored because i was so tired! and today im faced with work by 3. good luck with that again. i wish i have my license already. i hate it! well, who knows what the day will give me. i hope one of my resident's son comes to visit again. he is such a darling. he is sooooo handsome! hehe.. ok.. gtg.. post again tomorrow!

OMG!

this is gonna be my first ever post here...

OMG! as in Oh, my gosh!

my day went well, but, as all day ends, everything has a twist. my boss sent me a message last night telling me that she's gonna leave a voicemail on my phone. she called. ring ring. i didn't answer per her request. after some time i checked my phone just to hear that she's not coming in today. it wasn't a shock actually. she already told me about a seminar she needs to attend to. but telling me that my favorite resident aide wont be working with me and i'd be training a new girl to work for our company. sucks! and my boss told me that i'd be working with one of the resident's aide that i feel is incompetent. and i think i'm right. i mean, come noon time she allowed the new girl to take off! while everyone was having their meal! what the heck! well, every thing went well even with that thing happening. one cute son of one of my residents said that he's moving his mom out. i was kinda devastated. he's married and all but he is CUTE!

so i spent OT again. went home. got my mom from her work to her other work. then went home.
tomorrow will be another day because my boss will still be in another seminar. and i'll be off to sleep now. hehehe... ciao!