its been longggggggggggggggggggggg since ive had something in this blog.. i guess its time... here goes...
ive been busy. new work. in and out of relationships( if can classify them as one).
i thought my whore life was left when i left the philippines. and will only be revived if i come back to my motherland. but no. its all coming back. its like this blackhole sucking you up with all its might whilst on the other side lies the past you. passing you back and forth.
i also think its innate in me. is it in my appearance? as if people see me as some one to put in bed and leave there not thinking of coming back? or is it just the complications that i always think of that makes me feel alone, used.
i wait for that someone to be there and be the knight in shining armour for me. i see them. i meet them. i interact with them. but after a night of baring whats behind the armour, feeling him and satisfying the carnal needs that my knight was hinting for a long time, im left alone. thinking if i made the right decision of giving in to his needs. thinking maybe it was too early.
it might be too early. but life is short. grabbing it by the tail is not the right way to live it. you must ride head on. catching up is never my thing. but now everything leaves me just in the middle. stagnant.
alone.
